In an unintentionally hilarious speech, wearing a diaphanous top and standing in front of City of London branding like a skier holding his skis up to show everyone the logo, British Tory prime minister appeared terribly weak, and so did British national security, as she "told" the Russian government - except she was actually speaking to bankers and other City bigwigs - that "we know what you are doing". Apparently Russia annexed the Crimea and, the horror, they are weaponising information!
Then she said that Britain wouldn't let the Russians do it. So that will be squeaky bum and trouser clips time in the Kremlin, then! Information has been weaponised for millennia, you idiot. What kind of idiotic head of government waves a stick at a foreign power while showing such a pathetic ignorance of her topic, information warfare? What kind of speechwriters write such a speech? What kind of advisers allow it to go ahead?
In response, the Russian foreign ministry issued a press release using Twitter, the same US-based service that is habitually used by the US president. Here's what they wrote:
"#UK Prime Minister @theresa_may on @Russia: We know what you are doing. We know what YOU are doing as well. Dear Theresa, we hope, one day you will try Crimean #Massandra red wine".
The Sun, Britain's highest circulation newspaper, owned by US-based oligarch Rupert Murdoch, called the Russian response "bizarre". So did the Independent, a London-based newspaper owned by Russian oligarch Evgeny Lebedev, whose billionaire dad used to work as a KGB officer in London.
Some journalists obviously did five seconds of websearching and found that Putin once drank some Massandra wine, which is produced in Crimea, with Tony Blair's pal Silvio Berlusconi. But none of them had the nous to suss why foreign ministry propagandists chose to refer to "Massandra".
So I'll tell you. It's not just a reference to Crimea. The word also connotes a combination of "MAY" (as in Theresa) and "CASSANDRA" (the female figure in Greek mythology who was destined to issue prophecies that were accurate but nobody believed). Get it? Theresa May tries to take the piss out of Russian intelligence, and they take the piss back out of her at a higher level. She waves a stick. And look who's winning the infowar.